remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
