I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
