she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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