so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
