Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
