i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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