it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
