she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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