i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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