Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
