So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
