yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
