i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry my hands just texted you
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
