You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
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Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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