Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
