I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
