I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
