So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
