Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
