you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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