remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
