haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
