Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
