oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
