when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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