Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You pole danced in your parka.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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