so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
