So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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