Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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