this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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