Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
