Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
