shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
