The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
