so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
