I heard we made out
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
