I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
