I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
