oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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