She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
