Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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