their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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