I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
