He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
