I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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