Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
