just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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