There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
