We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize