it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
