So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
