im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
