So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
