i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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